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| If the simple washing of a bowl can be approached as a sacred act, why not something as intimate as sex? Photo by Pixabay |
(I have been looking for this piece for years. It
was supposed to have been my very last published commentary, under the sex
column Come Good, for Thursday
November 21, 2001. It was never published. So I did not get an opportunity
to say an official good-bye and thank you to all my dedicated readers. Later, I
would be told that since the intention was to move me into television with a
talk show bearing my name, it made no sense to bid my fans adieu. But really, I
learned it was to have happen what did happen: that for years people continued
buying the newspaper hoping to find my work {No, the media house NEVER
advertised that I had been moved to TV}. I ended up finding this printed out
copy amid my boxed files for my non-fiction, many years written, soon to be
published book, Management and Other
Murders. Since one of my recent blog posts {"Still Crazy After All These Years"} was the start of my journey as a columnist,
it feels fitting to follow up with what should have been the end of that
journey.)
“MAKE LOVE, not war.”
And what a cliché it’s become. In it, we can find the answer to day to day
problems like crime, rage, misunderstanding.
But lovemaking itself seems to open
up cans of worms of its own kind: STDs, HIV, AIDS, unplanned pregnancies,
resultant abortions, the list goes on and on. Still, though, is it making love
that really makes those things, the way fundamentalist religious folk insist;
or is it the faking of making love that makes those things?
I
believe this: sex is meant to be divine communion, born of love or earnest
passion, between two people who love and – or at least – respect each other;
two people who want the best for each other; two people who are not afraid of
the other.
With
the many minds and mouths for millennia making a mockery of making love, making
a mire of it to suck mortals down, calling it from “bad” to worse, sick and
sin, evil even, well no wonder words – which have power, the Bible tells me so
– were able to poison it so that really awful things get produced from sex.
Beauteous & blessed body love
But
what if we could get along? What if we could let it be and bless it when it’s
done right and true? What if we could open our minds and open our hearts
whenever the thought of sex came to the fore? What if we could see it as a
beauteous thing bent on bringing human beings into blessed union of souls?
Well
then, wouldn’t sex become holy? And all who had it, made it, shared it, gifted
another with it would be consecrated.
I
believe. I tell you, I believe.
All
the woe would cease. Confusion would cease. Pain, grief, strife would cease. No
more “pimps” and “players” No more women labelled “whore” and more. No more
waiting, no more daunting, and taunting ground to dust.
Shine on little death
Then
those of us for whom body-love “don’t come
easy” would be healed all the way through, and we’d know what it was to revel
in the little death, shining like a new dime, mixing metaphors on the wings of
joy, forward ever, backward never.
Those
who say, “Nay!” well let them bray and bray, but do not let them make our
spirits dismay, for goodness will forge a glorious new way.
I
have so enjoyed writing these particular columns. I hope I was able to show
you, even a speck, that talk of sex, and sex thereby, does not have to be
sordid or irresponsible; but can be warm, enlightening, friendly, deep.
Oh,
what can I say to you, dearhearts, to let you know my faith in humanity and in
our ability to heal ourselves and those beside us?
I can
only think of three small words, which mean all of me and all the sun moon, stars:
I love you. I really do.
Open up
Thanks
for the time
Catch me from now on The Jaye-Q Show, every weekday morning from 9:30 AM
For real though, now you can catch me doing my loving Trinidad and Tobago thing on my photocentric blog: Trinbago Shine On
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