Pleasure of My Company for Christmas

 

Even the Nativity players had to cover up against Covid. Seriously, social distancing could not be painful for people who never had a problem walking alone at times ... whatever the season.

(First published December, 2000, under the column Surfacing)

 

“There are places and moments in which one is so completely alone that one sees the world entire.”

— Jules Renard

 

“We are rarely proud when we are alone.”

— Voltaire, Philosophical Dictionary

 

 

“HOW YOU COULD GO cinema on Christmas Day?” somebody asked me ... for the umpteenth time.

Well, such is the leeway you’re allowed when you don’t have to make Christmas plans around anybody but yourself.

I live alone. I’ve lived alone four years now and I’ve spent three of those Christmases in the pleasure of my own company. Believe it or not, those were the only good Christmases I’ve had since I hit 11 and stopped getting toys and started getting breasts.

It’s accepted by most that Christmas is a time for family and friends. But what about the people who don’t have families? Or those who belong to large clans, but still chose to spend the day alone?

 

Fly solo for the season

 

“But why you want to be alone for Christmas?” is another question I get a lot. I used to try to explain, but why for? See, the only people who could ever understand another person’s decision to fly solo for the season are people who would do the same themselves.

I’ve had people look down on me for wanting to be alone for the holidays; calling me anything from stupid to selfish. So I’ve stopped trying to explain to them, because:

“One must not try to pour anything into a cup that’s already full.”

Now, it may seem that folks who spend Christmas in solitaire must have really God-awful times. That’s not necessarily the case. While it would be nice to be in the company of someone I love as much as I love writing, there are certain advantages to the alone-thing that, perhaps, we only-onlies take for granted.

 

Season cheer: a photo affair

 

As I mentioned before, we don’t have to consult anybody to make plans. We can function just like a simple camera: point and shoot. Hah-ha!

It's ever so nice to make exceptions for the right people, eh.

One oft-overlooked problem with large gatherings is that of flatulence. Let’s face it, when you’re with a bunch of people, it’s difficult to find a moment to take your case. And with all that rich Christmas food, you know you’re going to need to do it! Being alone means not having to worry about that. You can be as free as Willy and fart at will.

As I mentioned food, I’m glad I don’t have to cook for a group of people the size of two football teams.

Of course I enjoyed my mother’s and grandmother’s gastronomic feasts come the season to be greedy—I mean jolly; but thank heavens I never had to take over from them.

When we loners open our gifts from our friends and relatives in or own presence behind locked doors, we do not have to fake that we like anything. We get to grimace, or wisecrack, or put the darn panties on our heads and the socks on our johnsons without a care (I should say, I don't actually have a johnson. Just making a visual metaphor).

And if you think that’s not a heap load of fun, think again!

 

Don’t depreciate the true meaning

 

We don’t have to stand lookout for when the bathroom is free of visitors. We don’t have to be afraid of breaking down into a huge Christmastime-emotional bawl.

We don’t have to do anything about the toilet seat.

How yuh like meh now?

But, seriously, I think the greatest thing about spending Christmas Day alone is I get to appreciate it for what it was meant to be: a time to regard the human race with a certain tenderness, tolerance and all-round love.

See, standing back from a thing often lets you see the true beauty of it. There is nothing between me and what I look at, thus, I can see clearly. Being alone more urges me to love the festivities through the enjoyment of others — without my own ego, wants, pettiness getting in the way.

Would I trade that for anything? I might. But not for anything that’s around right now ... so it’s me, myself and Jhaye-Q for Christmas 2000.

If you think I’m nuts, then be sure to let my insanity serve as incentive for you. Work to really show the people you’re sharing your holiday with how much you appreciate what you have in them.

Merry Christmas and shine on

 

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